How Atheists Can Understand Believers

It's a video by Shwanerd. In the comments section, user BlackMark52 left the following comment:

"Sorry, I cut listening to your video short, but I think you totally missed FactVsReligions message. I don't mean to offend, but you are young and naive. I have dealt with this since I was 10, I am now 60, my mother is almost 80. It has gotten to the point where when my mother calls I will not pick up the phone. The reason is that the unresolved issues of our differences in belief cannot be resolved without harm to her. I am not good for her -- and now I GET IT."

Shwanerd responded:

"I'm sorry that your situation has reached such a stalemate. My mother used to be as much of a evangelical as I was (where do you think I got it from?) but because I've been able to be honest with her over these past few years, things have gotten better. She's increasingly liberal or 'moderate' about her beliefs, and talking about religion is getting to be easier and easier with time. I can't presume to know your situation, but this video explains what has worked for me."

I too have seen changes in my mother and father since my deconversion, though that may well not be due to my deconversion.

Here's the backstory: Until I was 17 or 18, we all went to a highly conservative denomination called the Church of Christ (the exact congregation varied over the years due to a few different moves).

Shortly after I deconverted and told my parents about it, they got a divorce (again, this had nothing to do with the deconversion itself). The other church-goers, I think, were shocked. Divorce was taboo in the church of christ. People who were divorced could attend, but they were never allowed to preach or even lead songs if they had gotten remarried. My parents both stopped attending the particular church we had attended previously.

Over time, it seems that both of them had gotten remarkably more open minded and moderate. As they stepped out of the dogmatic, self-reinforcing group think of that narrow-minded denomination, they began to see with more clarity.

For example, my Dad, though still a Christian, has confessed that he does not necessarily believe that the earth is less than ten thousand years old. He said he had always had doubts about how Genesis 1 was interpreted, but never voiced those concerns as he knew this would never be accepted.

My mom, after learning more about psychology, has decided that "you can't tell homosexuals that they can never have relationships."

Christian belief does not fade when someone leaves the church. What fades is a dogmatic, self-righteous attitude about Christian belief. Without constant reassurance and assertion from other believers, without a self-assured, Only-I-Have-The-TRUTH preacher speaking every week, people become a good deal more realistic and reasonable.

That's something to think about.